“Jason’s been…. snippy lately. Ready to bite people’s head off. Even angry.”

Well, yes.

On January 11, sometime between 9:00AM and 11:00AM, the only man who’d ever tried to be a dad to me passed away in his sleep. He was 87 years old and has been battling health issues the past few years. In spite of our relationship being contentious at times, we understood one another.

I went to live with Max Overholtzer as a foster kid when I was 12 after spending the previous 7 or so years bouncing around group homes in California. I did… okay there. I had some issues, mainly trust issues (still got ’em), but the point was, I somehow managed to get my head on straight and figure out what I was doing. There were bumps in the road, but Max and I figured things out. Most importantly, how alike we were in personalities… and why I moved 3,000 miles away.

Like I said, our relationship wasn’t easy.

Our birthdays were 41 years and 1 day apart, so when I became an adult we would buy ourselves presents every year and say the other got it for us. Max was found of buying me books. Apparently, I bought him a Tesla one year. **shrug**

Complicated.

I haven’t had a lot of time to process things just yet. Work and other stuff has been taking almost all of my energy and I haven’t had a chance to breathe. Sunday at Marscon I finally hit my breaking point and bailed. So if you were wondering why I wasn’t at the last panel and had been looking forward to seeing me, I apologize for that.

I’m… okay right now. The anger (I swore the man would outlive me, and he almost did) comes and goes. The main thing I’m happy for is that he’s not in pain anymore. Selfishly, I really wish he could have stuck around a little longer.

But he was there for my successes and failures, and never judged me on those. Oh, sure, he gave me a ton of shit about things when I screwed up (…and people wonder where I get that absolutely cold streak when it comes to critiques), but that was how my brain worked, and he got that.

It’s hard to miss someone you really haven’t accepted they’re gone just yet. It’ll come. But for the time being?

He’s home, puttering around on some engine, bitching about his aching back, and wondering if the weather’s going to hold so he can take the boat out this weekend.