I want to buy a house.

Wait, hear me out. I have sound reasoning for this desire.

I’ve been surfing around the web researching a story and came across an unfinished basement and the pictures that the guy took. He then showed the step-by-step process of turning his unfinished basement into the ultimate nerd man cave, with aisles of books, a video game corner, multiple display cases with gaming miniatures and a monster speaker hook up. Yes, he’s married with four kids, so no comments about him having no spouse or being a 40 year old virgin. I think I slobbered on my keyboard when I saw this, then slobbered some more when I found out that he did all of this in under eight grand. Considering the worth of the book collection he had, I’m thinking this is one hell of an investment.

So yeah, I want a house. I want a library. I want… well, I’m being greedy, but I want my very own man nerd cave. John Ringo has a dungeon (no, I’m not kidding). Kevin J Anderson has a freaking mountain (equipped with super villain cave, undoubtedly). John Scalzi has… uh… space?

Why can’t I have a man nerd cave?

Yes, I currently have an office (of sorts). There aren’t nearly enough bookcases in here for all of my books (the majority of which remain in Colorado). But a house… well, with a house, I could be a Nerd King! I will have bookcases everywhere! Display cases for my miniatures! Autographed books sectioned off and under protective glass (okay, just the few printed before 1800)! A 72″ big screen TV with a PS3 so I can play Assassin’s Creed III when I have writer’s block!

I need to get rich, quick. Buy my book! Make me a king!

…yes, I want to be royalty among my kin. Sue me. It’s better than wanting to be president of the United States, and far less damaging.