I was talking with a few friends the other day about how I’ve been stuck at 45 reviews for Wraithkin. They’ve all been positive reviews (4.7 out of 5 stars) so I can’t complain, but I was reminded about my promise that if I got 50 reviews I’d barbecue a unicorn.

That got me to thinking… unicorn’s aren’t real, so what would I eat? I thought about what ancients believed were unicorns a few thousand years ago but remembered that rhinoceros are an endangered species, so that’s out. Then I thought “Well, horses are sorta related” but then realized that I did not want to be single, since eating a horse would most definitely cause my girlfriend to break up with me.

So I started positing other options. Dog? Well, dogs are good and loyal animals, and during the Dark Days they will not only be great companions but also first-warning alarm systems for when the zombies attack your compound. No, gotta save the dogs. Besides, Odin, for all his annoyances, is a really good dog. He might get upset at the idea that daddy is eating his cousins.

Cats? Cats are terrific vermin control, so no, no cats. I love my cats. They have helped me write thirty books over the past ten years. No, cats are good critters to have around. Can’t eat a cat then.

Suddenly I realized that I was having a Stannis Baratheon conversation with myself. All because I want to hit 50 reviews on Amazon.

God… rats? I’ve had rat. Nothing special there, maybe a little gamey. Worse than venison but still worlds better than sloth. Anything is better than sloth.

So… we get 50 reviews for Wraithkin and I’m back to barbecuing unicorns. Can we do it?