This one time at Writer's Camp…
Cease and Desist
I noticed what appeared to be an official looking large envelope from Pyr Books crammed into the mailbox. I handled it with some caution because I have heard stories about “official looking envelopes” and the havoc they bring upon the hapless recipient. Such phrases like “lawsuits” and “cease & desist” went through my head and for a moment, I wondered just how cheap airfare was to Canada and if I really needed a passport.
I tried to recall if I had ever insulted anyone from Pyr. I’ve never made fun of Lou Anders, the editor, nor Jonathan Kurtz, the president. I’m on decent terms with Jill, my usual point of contact from Pyr. I haven’t submitted any of my novels to them, so I know I’m not being hit with a “You make us suffer through that again and we’re nuking Virginia” letter. So, I am confused and still a little wary.
I went inside and into my room, where I opened the envelope with no small amount of nervousness. You see, I’ve seen people get harassed, hounded and even sued for giving bad reviews of products (though I don’t think I’ve ever given a Pyr Book a bad review over at Shiny Book Review, but you never know just who you might offend on accident). These tales are stuff of nightmares for people like me. Then I glanced inside and realized that all would be right in the world.
Pyr had sent me their Spring/Summer 2011 catalog, which included a wide variety of new books and continuing series. I sighed with relief and decided to not share this story with anyone.
I figure that since nobody reads this thing anyway, I’m perfectly safe, right?
What’s that? They do read this? Uh…